We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize