like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
