I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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