we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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