would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
