Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
