Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
