I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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