i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
