Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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