just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
