I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
