Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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