went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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