butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
