If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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