Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
