My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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