i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
