I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
