dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
