WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
