Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
