I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
