I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize