I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize