Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
