Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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