I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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