Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
