I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
