Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
