now i know why i became what i already was.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
