is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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