You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I will pee on everything he values.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
