11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
