my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
40s are totally the cure
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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