I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
