I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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