dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
