ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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