Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
try to milk me bitch
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