why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
