Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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