i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
