God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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