hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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