pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I wish i was in the wii world.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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