the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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