The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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