when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
