I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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