my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
