You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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