bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
