oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
