ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
