I hate your face
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
