he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
