he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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