I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
