i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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