my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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