I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Your penis caused this!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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