I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
