man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
