Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
