Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
