i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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