Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
