Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i believe in u and ur pee
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
