: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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