Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My dick has a subreddit
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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