Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
